It's Happening all Over Again...~

why is this happening again? huh? why?!

doushite?!

i thought the hiccup is over... but it's beginning all over again... and i dont know what to do about it... someone please help me...

although i doubt you can do any help besides saying 'poor boy...' or 'you're so unlucky'...

but please dont say things like 'it's your own business' or 'dont make your business mine' or something even worse like 'you deserve it...'

because i didnt ask for all these things...

and these are not MY doings... i'm the innocent party...

I-N-N-O-C-E-N-T

but why must i go through this mental torment?

well... take a look at the two things which happened again...

The 6... Divided?
just when i thought the matter is over when we can talk and laugh at each another again... the whole affair has to start all over again...

why?

is making each another upset really a joy? is keeping quiet and not voicing out your opinions a joy? i dont think so... there is so much i have to say... but i dont want to...

why...

because i dont want to hurt anyone in the process... i feel a very weak glue which is not functioning well... trying to find out what's wrong and trying to glue bits and pieces back again...

why cant i have things back in the past? is the present and future so miserable? for me?

many bad things had happened to me... but please dont let this be another...

never judge a book by its cover... and this book refers to me...

no one is at fault... no one wanted this to happen... where is the trust? where is our voice?

where is our happiness?

please let this matter settle and dematerialize as soon as possible...

please...~


Corrupted Organization; A Story
well well... if you read my previous blog entry, you will know what this corrupted organization refers to... in this entry, i shall call it...

'that corrupted organization'...

read this story... if you understand it, good for you... if not, i'll find a way to bring the thing across so that only clever enough people will understand and those who are poor at comprehension cant... let me play with words...

read this...

thursday... another day for a boy called broy... a boy who worked his ass off for 3 years with the organization... doing whatever he was told... and there was no deny to that... people have eyes to see... he did neglect his duties once in awhile... but he was generally okay...

he held a position in the committee in the organization... the bosses used to be nice... but somehow, things just changed...

after the incident which happened in the stadium... the operation which the organization had to carry out... a simple operation which changed the mindset of this boy...

now, he can no longer trust any of the bosses, fearing that they will come up with stupid things for him to do... fearing that if he were to do his work properly and if something goes wrong, his bosses will not shield him... the sense of security disappeared like vapour over time...

he stood up from the bench and placed his work on the wooden table... three of his colleagues, one also a committee... told him that there was going to be another one of those emergency meetings...

it has to be another operation...

everyone in the organization gathered together... with gaps in between one another though... the male boss started to speak... telling us about the operation at the reservoir for friday... everyone across the whole organization had to take part as it is a working day... so, there was no excuse...

no one complained...

yet...

the new female boss stepped over and started speaking with a tone which bugs people... it's one of those authorative voice, close to the voice of control... broy used to like this boss when he went to an outing to malaysia... she was fun loving and nice to be with then... but that was history...

she had changed after her promotion... her character now... no one liked that attitude that she gives... any stranger could have just walked up to her and give her several tight slaps... broy tolerated her nonsense...

she announced that there will be another operation on saturday... an operation which only is compulsory for the rank 2 and 3 employees to attend... their duties were told and explained... the rank 4 sat and watch... including broy...

however, what changed the quiet and peaceful atmosphere was when she said that the rank 4 is required to do some other duties... and this duty is a duty which people detested... which people thinks that only clowns will do... this duty is cheer leading...

mumblings arose within the group of the rank 4 employees... mostly unhappy with the decision because it was made very clear that the rank 4 were promised to be out of this operation... it was promised on the previous emergency meeting that the rank 4 were excluded because they had to do more work for a major operation in november...

many were unhappy and mainly pissed... the bosses promised... but they broke it... there goes broy's trust again... for the second time... broy went up to 2 other rank 4 employees and they started talking...

'this is not fair! they have already told us that we were exluded from the operation!'

'yeah! i have plans on saturday! i cant possibly cancel it... not now!'

'we have to voice our opinions... we cannot be unheard of...!'

after the meeting, the three of us went up to another male boss, not the one who told about operation reservoir... he is another boss... a more reasonable and approachable boss... broy had always respected him... but he fear that his boss might do something stupid one day to lose that... but for now, broy respected him...

the three of them told the boss about the matter... the boss seems lost and thus, found the female boss...

the female boss turned away from who she was talking to and gave them the disgusting look...

'yes?' she was apparently not happy with their interruption...

the male boss explained the matter and we stood there and they waited for an answer...

'this is an organization project... no one is to be excluded... besides, this is going to be your last assignment'

the faces of the three swelled with anger... one stepped out and started to speak

'cant we make operation reservoir our last operation?'

'yeah! we have a major operation in november and there will be a second major one in May! we have to prepare!' broy said...

the boss seemed angry...

but the three did not bother about her... they had the right of speech... and broy was glad that he did so... he had voiced out his inner feelings and will not be allowed to be bullied by this new boss...

broy is in the organization longer than the boss... he knows more than the boss knows about the operations in the organization...

and to him, a promise is a promise... and he will not allow himself to be cheated... never!

the female boss turned away... the male boss explained that he will try to speak up for us... he understands the rank 4's plight...

broy thought that the answer was satisfactory... he left... along with the other two...

in his mind, he told himself...

i will never allow them to make me do this operation... and whether they like it or not, i will not go... i will not allow them to manipulate me... i have worked so hard in this organization and it's prudent to allow me to rest... and furthermore, i shall not allow them to break a promise they made to the rank 4s... they will not win... i will...


this broy... is me...


well... finally finished this story... long but i've explained everything... like i said... only clever people will understand... i hope you are because i want people to know about this...

well... really tired of typing now... bye...~